If you’re looking for a way to convey the idea that women do not enjoy sexual intimacy but merely endure it, the phrase “lie back and think of England” is a perfect match.
This post dives into the fascinating history of this expression, explains what it means, and shows how to use it.
Meaning
The British expression “lie back and think of England” refers to sexual intercourse.
It is, more specifically, related to the idea that women do not generally enjoy sexual intimacy with their husbands but have to acquiesce to it for “God and country.”
When wondering what to do on their wedding night, English women living in the early 20th century may have been advised to simply “lie back and think of England.”
In modern times, the expression is more likely to be used as an example of outdated thoughts about healthy sexual intimacy.
You may also hear the variation “close your eyes and think of England.”
Example Usage
Are you wondering how to use the expression “lie back and think of England” in a sentence? Take a look at these examples:
- “I’m just not attracted to him anymore. What am I supposed to do? Lie back and think of England? I didn’t think so! Our relationship is definitely over.”
- “British women were once told to lie back and think of England, but nothing short of enthusiastic consent will do these days.”
- “All you need to know, my dear, is to lie back and think of England. It’ll be over before you know it!”
Origin
The expression “lie back and think of England” may conjure images of women living during the Victorian era, which lasted from 1837 to 1901, when Queen Victoria died.
Surprisingly, the first written reference dates back to 1912, after the Victorian era had already ended. One Lady Alice Hillingdon, married to Charles William Mills, wrote in her journal:
“When I hear his steps outside my door I lie down on my bed, open my legs and think of England.”
Lucy Baldwin, married to a former UK Prime Minister, was also said to have used the phrase when offering her daughter advice. This incident was documented in a 1943 newspaper column that contained the sentence:
“Do what I did — just close your eyes and think of England.”
Regardless of where the phrase originated, it is a social commentary on women’s rights in the early 20th century and, possibly, the late 19th century.
Rather than conceiving of sexual intimacy within a marriage as a mutually-pleasurable experience, the saying “lie back and think of England” casts marital sex as:
- A burden to be endured.
- A patriotic duty.
Phrases Similar to Lie Back and Think of England
While there are no directly synonymous phrases, related phrases include:
- A stiff upper lip — an expression commonly used to describe British stoicism.
- Needs must — another British expression that means “do what you have to.”
Phrases Opposite to Lie Back and Think of England
Phrases that convey the opposite idea — that all sexual contact should be consensual, whether or not the partners are married — are much newer. These sayings include:
- No means no.
- Silence isn’t consent.
- Consent should be given freely and willingly.
What Is the Correct Saying?
The correct saying is “lie back and think of England.” This expression refers to the old idea that women do not enjoy sex, but should endure it.
Ways People May Say Lie Back and Think of England Incorrectly
It is important to keep in mind that the expression “lie back and think of England” doesn’t just mean “take it, even though you don’t want to” — it refers specifically to sexual intercourse.
The phrase may have originated as a description of one woman’s life, but it later turned into a piece of often-given advice. This advice is now horribly outdated.
Acceptable Ways Say to Lie Back and Think of England
You can use the expression “lie back and think of England” when you talk about attitudes British women in the early 20th century might have had toward sex. This description may stretch back to the Victorian age.
You could also use the saying as an example of the ways in which women’s oppression shaped the English language.