Are you consoling a friend after their breakup with their partner? If they're feeling down, you could say, "tis better to have loved and lost" to cheer them up. This post unpacks the meaning and origin of this expression.
Meaning
The saying "tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' means the pain of lost love is worth bearing to experience the joy of love.
Example Usage
“I know you’re hurting after the breakup with Sandra. Remember, tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. You’ll find someone else. Cheer up.”
“I know your wife was the light of your life, and my condolences on her passing. It’s rough right now, but tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Call me if you ever need to talk. I’m here for you.”
“Tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Would you rather be dealing with a breakup or never date anyone at all? You’ll find your way out of this in time.”
“Losing my girlfriend was the worst experience ever. I hurt for days. My friend told me ‘tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all,’ but I’m not so sure.”
“Look, I know things seem dark and gloomy right now, but that’s how relationships work. Sooner or later, someone leaves you, or they die. Tis better to have loved and lost than never love at all.”
Origin
The expression "tis better to have loved and lost" is the shortened version of "tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all." The first appearance of the phrase in literature traces back to 1850. Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote the poem "In Memoriam," where the saying appears as follows.
"I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."
Tennyson wrote the poem to celebrate the passing and life of his friend, Arthur Henry, from his days of studying at Cambridge University. In Memoriam, A. H. H. features 133 cantos. These short-length poems form an elegy commemorating Henry, who died in 1833 from a brain hemorrhage, aged 22-years.
Phrases Similar to Tis Better to have Loved and Lost
- Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
- If you don’t try, you don’t know.
- Love lost better never loved.
Phrases Opposite to Tis Better to have Loved and Lost
- Love me forever.
- Love doesn’t matter.
What is the Correct Saying?
- Tis better to have loved and lost.
- It’s better to have loved and lost.
- Tis better to have love and lost, than never loved at all.
Ways People May Say Tis Better to have Loved and Lost Incorrectly
The phrase "tis better to have loved and lost" refers to human relationships, such as losing your partner to death or a breakup.
Using it to describe your love for a pet or animal that passed away is incorrect. Using "tis" at the front of the saying is less common in modern language, and most people replace "tis" with "it's" in the contemporary use of the idiom.
Acceptable Ways to Phrase Tis Better to Have Loved and Lost
You can use the expression "tis better to have loved and lost" when trying to cheer someone up after a breakup. It's a way of telling them that being in love is a special life experience and that they shouldn't' dwell on the situation. The sooner they get back into the dating pool, the sooner they will find someone new in their life.
The phrase suits social use. You can use it with friends when they open up to you about losing a loved one or a breakup. It's an inspiring and motivating statement intended to help the person out of their depressed mental state.